SECXY GRL STIPS AND GET NKED IN BATH LOL

I fucking hate spammers.
I never used to get any spam as my spam filter was pretty good, but then, one day it all happened: even more bloody spam e-mails. The levels don't seem to be as bad as they were in 1998 but there is still tonnes of the stuff - and the worst part? it insults our intelligence.

Take this little gem I received the other day: RE: TRANSFER OF (USD 16.6 MILLION).

'Odd' I thought, 'I don't remember contacting someone called Siraj Diop about getting over sixteen and a half million dollars for free'. I scratched my nuts. 'Must be too good to be true, but let's have a look anyway:

Dear so and so, etc etc; I am a loaded banker in Senegal and some git's dead and I want to defraud his family of their millions of dollars of inheritance, could you perchance give me your bank details? I'll bung you 35%.


'I am Mr Siraj Diop, (Bsc,Msc) the Auditor General of one of the prime banks here in Dakar Senegal'

'I need truthful person in this business because I don't want to make mistake I need your strong assurance and trust. With my position now in the office I can transfer this money to any foreigner's reliable person, intact pending my physical arrival in your country for sharing. and I want to remaind you that your share has been carculated at 35% of the total sum and 5 will map out for the transfer expenses .

Best Regard.
Mr. Siraj Diop

Bullet-proof story, of course. 16.6 Million is too good to be true but a paltry 35% of that is only about 5 Million dollars / 2 -3 million quid or so. which is much more realistic, with this in mind I got in touch with Mr Diop to make my fortune:

'Dear Mr Diop, I am thrilled and intrigued by your offer of 35% of 16.6 Million USD. I, being a gullible idiot would gladly trust you- a fraudster - with my Bank account details and certainly not question how it came to be that you acquired my email address. So without further ado here they are:

39-39-00
1234567890
Mr Donald H Duck, Royal Bank of Bloody Liberties

I have also taken the liberty of transferring all of my worldly monies into your account, as you will doubtless need these to 'transfer' the 16.6 Million USD due to 'an unforeseen complication' that will shortly arise, much to your excusatory charm I am sure. I look forward to further correspondence with you Mr Diop; it is certainly a trustworthy man who reckons himself to be not only a 'Msc' but is also pretentious enough to list the lesser 'Bsc' so that he has more letters after his name, in an attempt to curtail the matter of his mediocre grammar and dubious spelling - calling into question his intelligence and, indeed, authenticity.

lick my balls you cunting shyster

Lucassen

(Lucassen is my alias, and in case you're wondering: No, my real name isn't Donald H Duck)

Where was I? Oh yes. It insults our intelligence - do they really think anyone is going to fall for this stuff? DOES anyone fall for it? Sadly I expect that they do, it the same with all the crap about nowadays.

Lads Mags: ever had a look at the back cover? it used to be there was some good old-fashioned smut there: phone numbers where some ugly tart would talk dirty to feckless wankers for £2 a minute.

NOT ANYMORE! No, now it's:

Buy these pills for £8 a bag! If you thought those other pills were good then these will really blow your mind!! Over 3 times better than the original pills! buy 40 bags and get 20p discount! Mega-PILLS!

(no one knows what the sod they do)

Ring 0804750437 to get a picture of Big Brother's latest trollop with her tits out! Never seen before!

Step-right up and get your very own copy of The Paris Hilton Sex Tape!

X-FACTOR Gossip!

Call now and get a load of silly buggers for your mobile for a mere £13.50 per week and get a FREE ringtone!

FREE porn!

FREE sex tips!

FREE Plasma TV!

FREE Nelson Mandela!

Bollocks to it.