Salvia
For those of you that haven't heard of salvia, it's a member of the sage family which contains a chemical called Salvinorin. Salvinorin is a hallucinogen and will blow your head to Mars if you do something silly with it, such as smoke it. Anyway.
Hypothetically speaking, if a rather foolish blog-taking student was to inhale said smoke through a home-made bong made out of a smirnoff lid, coke bottle and blu-tack bad things would undoubtedly happen, hilarity would surely ensue. This is the tale of what would happen if such an event were to take place:
Two students would sneak out of halls and across a field into a small ditch full of dead leaves and overlooking a greenhouse in the dark, dark night. one would fumble in his pockets for about five minutes trying to find a lighter and a small vial of Salvia that set him back four pounds or so. This accomplished, he would empty the tea-like substance into the socket of the bong and light up. He'd pull at the thing for a bit to fill the chamber with smoke before taking a long drag. he would hand said bong to his friend afterwards, no doubt.
He would find himself on a bright yellow boat rocked by a stormy sea, it would sway port, then starboard port then starboard. 'oooh. pretty colours' he would think. He'd soon jump overboard and into the wide sargasso sea; only to realise that it was a giant green and blue monastery. after exploring the halls and strange, hive-like protuberances a bong would find it's way into his hand and he'd take another, longer pull and hold it in.
He'd find himself in a gigantic warehouse and everyone would call him 'sir' and tell him that the new shipment had arrived - only to throw him in chains and fly about the room on blue triangles. Suddenly the escalator of time would catch the young student's proverbial shoe-lace in it's cogs and drag him out of this reality and down a drain, as though an invisible man had hold of his skin with magical hooks there would be a burning evil glow down the drain, and stuck at the grate said student would look up at the horrified warehouse faces. "Oh fuck! help me! they're taking me back to the nineteen eighties!!!!!" or some similar variation would escape the lips of the student and jar him back to reality. Confounded, he would lie back on the damp leaves and giggle inanely at the absurdity of the thing. Help his friend out of his exceedingly bad trip, stagger back to halls and collapse on the floor for a while. They would wake up and eat 19 mince pies and 6 sausage rolls to stave off the munchies. One would say "that stuff fucked me up." the other "yeah yeah. pretty cool". then one would stagger back home at three in the morning and be forced to reconsider the direction his life was going in; concluding with: "what the fuck am i doing?!". thinking all the time that it was a damned good thing that noine of this ever happened, not even the time travelling scientist in the submarine, explaining the wonders of the universe to his young nephew: that this reality was merely a dream - a subservient drama created as a cruel joke for an alien's entertainment.
In a nutshell, i expect that salvia is a very bad drug indeed and should not be taken by anyone, ever - as it may very well be more potent than many illegal drugs. but i wouldn't know any of this for sure, having never touched the stuff in my life.
Hypothetically speaking, if a rather foolish blog-taking student was to inhale said smoke through a home-made bong made out of a smirnoff lid, coke bottle and blu-tack bad things would undoubtedly happen, hilarity would surely ensue. This is the tale of what would happen if such an event were to take place:
Two students would sneak out of halls and across a field into a small ditch full of dead leaves and overlooking a greenhouse in the dark, dark night. one would fumble in his pockets for about five minutes trying to find a lighter and a small vial of Salvia that set him back four pounds or so. This accomplished, he would empty the tea-like substance into the socket of the bong and light up. He'd pull at the thing for a bit to fill the chamber with smoke before taking a long drag. he would hand said bong to his friend afterwards, no doubt.
He would find himself on a bright yellow boat rocked by a stormy sea, it would sway port, then starboard port then starboard. 'oooh. pretty colours' he would think. He'd soon jump overboard and into the wide sargasso sea; only to realise that it was a giant green and blue monastery. after exploring the halls and strange, hive-like protuberances a bong would find it's way into his hand and he'd take another, longer pull and hold it in.
He'd find himself in a gigantic warehouse and everyone would call him 'sir' and tell him that the new shipment had arrived - only to throw him in chains and fly about the room on blue triangles. Suddenly the escalator of time would catch the young student's proverbial shoe-lace in it's cogs and drag him out of this reality and down a drain, as though an invisible man had hold of his skin with magical hooks there would be a burning evil glow down the drain, and stuck at the grate said student would look up at the horrified warehouse faces. "Oh fuck! help me! they're taking me back to the nineteen eighties!!!!!" or some similar variation would escape the lips of the student and jar him back to reality. Confounded, he would lie back on the damp leaves and giggle inanely at the absurdity of the thing. Help his friend out of his exceedingly bad trip, stagger back to halls and collapse on the floor for a while. They would wake up and eat 19 mince pies and 6 sausage rolls to stave off the munchies. One would say "that stuff fucked me up." the other "yeah yeah. pretty cool". then one would stagger back home at three in the morning and be forced to reconsider the direction his life was going in; concluding with: "what the fuck am i doing?!". thinking all the time that it was a damned good thing that noine of this ever happened, not even the time travelling scientist in the submarine, explaining the wonders of the universe to his young nephew: that this reality was merely a dream - a subservient drama created as a cruel joke for an alien's entertainment.
In a nutshell, i expect that salvia is a very bad drug indeed and should not be taken by anyone, ever - as it may very well be more potent than many illegal drugs. but i wouldn't know any of this for sure, having never touched the stuff in my life.
posted by RubbishStudent at
6:31 AM
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